Last updated: July 5, 2008

"A hell of a place to make your fortune." These words describe the HBO series Deadwood, a show distinguished by its excellence in every way, but most particularly in the brilliance of its writing. I don't use the name Shakespeare in jest, folks, as the writers of Deadwood have created characters, language and themes that compare to the Bard himself - if the Bard were to write with a prodigious volume of four letter words, anyway.

The character who best shows off the writers' perverted brilliance is Al Swearengen, owner of the Gem Saloon, businessman, villain turned anti-hero, and ruthless de facto king of this version of the town of Deadwood in 1876. I've seen him called "operatically foul-mouthed" and "deliciously corrupt", both of which describe him well. As played by the multi-talented Ian McShane, he's a frightening man, yet one you just can't help but like, even if you feel that you shouldn't.

The writers have put amazing words into Mr. McShane's capable mouth. Nearly everything he says is noteworthy. Much of it can't be put here, because it depends so much on the actor's delivery. But even so, there is a treasure heap of gloriously vulgar wisdom that can be mined from Al's dialogs and monologues, and I've tried to put as much of it here as I thought worthy. Which is most of it.

As a bonus, I've added some choice quotes from some of the other characters as well. Truly, I could not get through an episode without finding gems I wanted to share. So while this site focuses primarily on Al, I have let some of the other characters have their say here, too.

Navigation is to your left. Just in case you've wandered here by accident and are unprepared, let me tell you that these pages contain foul language (a lot of it) and adult themes (definitely not for kids, teenagers, or people of any sensitivity).