Quotes from Calamity Jane Canary

What can you say about Jane? Under her aggression, her 'lack of feminine graces', and her spectacularly foul mouth, she has a warm, brave, loving heart.

Season 1 episode 1

(to Bill) 'Scuse my ill humor. Certain people wear on my fuckin' nerves.

I don't drink where I'm the only fuckin' one with balls!

Season 1 episode 2

Charlie: You’re half fuckin’ blind, ain’t ya?
Jane: Sometimes it’s a fuckin’ blessing.

Season 1 episode 4

Alma:(Goes to Hickok’s door and knocks. Jane opens the door) Is this Mr. Hickok’s room?
Jane: Who’s askin’?
Alma: My husband’s just died under suspicious circumstances...
Jane: Suspect someone else. When Bill’s killed a man, he says so and states his reasons.

Season 1 episode 5

Jane: You’re one sick fuckin’ customer.
Andy: (delirious) I apologize.
Jane: Don’t apologize to me. I don’t even fuckin’ know ya!

Season 1 episode 6

(walking the streets, reacts when a man stares at her) If I had that mug on me, I believe I’d cut down gettin’ told how butt fuckin’ ugly I was by not starin’ at fuckin’ strangers.

Anyways, I ain’t here to teach ya any fuckin’ manners.

Season 1 episode 7

Them as heals under my care stay fuckin’ healed.

Charlie: (after "talking" to Wild Bill at his gravesite, breaks down, and Jane puts her hand on his shoulder) Can I tell him more tomorra?
Jane: Sure, what the fuck you askin’ me for? I don’t make the rules.

Season 1 episode 9

Rev: Uh, also, when I read the...the scriptures, I do not feel Christ’s love as I used to.
Jane: Oh, is that so? That is too bad. Join the fucking club with the most of us.

Don’t try and hasten anyone anywhere, ‘cause everyone follows their own fuckin’ pace.

Charlie: What do they pay you to hold that buildin’ up?
Jane: Charlie Utter of "Utter Charlie and Freight."
Charlie: Close enough to get you offered a position.
Jane: I’m in a position, you eternally meddling cocksucker.
Charlie: Yeah, leaning forward, shit-faced drunk.

(explaining to Charlie why she's leaving town) I will not be a drunk where he’s buried and I cannot stay fuckin’ sober.